Love after love

by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life. 

Yes, right now I am one of those women out there who forgot about herself when being in a relationship for a very long time… For twenty three years my marriage was a magical and wonderful happy one… After twenty seven plus, I sadly to admit, that this is no longer the case, my husband and I are drifting apart, things are certainly not the way they used to be; those were the days, eh?, when we were in love, really and truly ‘in love’…, and although one does not expect the same degree of being ‘in-love’, at least happiness should remain, especially after being together for such a long time.. A healthy relationship, that’s all I want; don’t you?… When you can still feel caring and happiness looking at each other’s eyes…
Statistics show that the lack of communication is the main reason why relationships fall upart these days… No doubt this is true!.. Women we like to talk and talk until matters are totally clarified and full consensus achieved.. Most men don’t like to talk at all, and this is something hard to accept… So, at the end of the day if I keep insisting in talking about ‘us’, I am told I am nagging.., and, if I decide to wait until my partner/husband decides to talk, (yes to talke about ‘us’ that ‘us’ that does not exist for a long, long time, way before our beautiful son was even born), about our feelings and where did we go wrong; then I can still wait, and wait and in the meantime a void between us begins to appear and with it a great distance… I used to believe that it was still possible to reconquer the love that I believed was still there, but as time passes, and this void gets bigger, I become disenchanted, and I begin to think that there is nothing between us to reconquer…
Did our ancestors communicate better about their relationships than us? Most of the older generations, certainly our grandparents and a huge majority of our parents out there seem to have pretty solid relationships.. Although I doubt very much they would talk about feelings in those days… Life was different and their needs were different…but, one begin to wonder, where they happier then, than we are today?… My mind wonders…
As the poem says, one thing is certain, I need to love myself more than ever before, especially after loving someone so much and for so long…(more than 27 years…)

 My eyes fill with tears and all I want is just paint, paint and paint… Art heals your body and soul, it puts you right in the present, in the very NOW, it clears your mind soothing your entire being.. This poem also got my inspiration going and as I begun to paint this image I was experiencing the healing of these profound and beautiful words:
You will love again the stranger who was your Self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart..”

Have a happy and fulfilled weekend, and if you feel low steam or demotivated for whichever reason maybe, just make art…. and more ART…, and more ART…, and after that, MORE ART…
Lots of love…xxx
(I believe the editing problems have been solved..  Thanks for your patience!)

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