“I didn’t have time to write a short letter,
so I wrote a long one instead.”
― Mark Twainn
Yes, my dear friends, more than six weeks have passed without writing a simple word or drawing a single line… aaaaarrrrrrrgggghhhhh… How could I have survived…
My son has started school and I am back at work… This time we are finding hard to come back to our everyday routing that, believe it or not, we missed so much in so many ways… My summer holidays were very hectic and so stressful at times that I was really happy coming back to my home in London… I do not feel like I have just came back from holidays, certainly the change of scenery was great, but the intensity of having to be with my family all the time it really drained my mind and body completely, even my little boy was telling me at times: ‘mummy, I do not want to have any visitors today’, hahahah, his words made me laugh so much, but on the neath I was feeling the same. I emotionally was so overloaded with family issues and staff that once again I found myself at the edge of three anxiety attacks, luckily I managed to come out of them on my own and did not end in A&E, as I did last year… I tend to teach my son to accept everything and anything that he cannot change and be happy, but in this case I could have changed my holiday arrangements and be happy, but the true is that I would have felt guilty if, for instance, I would have told my mother to stay in her apartment instead of spending the five weeks living with me at my home, which it would have avoid a few quarrels between mother and daughter… Despite the love we have for eachother, sometimes we do not see eye to eye and desagree very oftern..
Yes, we feel guilty for trying to be honest to ourselves, don’t we? this is the way most of us were brought up in those days… (I wouldn’t be a good daughter if I say that..!!!… and so, and so..)…
I read the first book of a contemporary Russian mystic and writer Vadim Zeland called: ‘Transurfing’. This book is a study program of purposefulness and positive attitude to life. The basic principles are:
“Live by the dictates of your soul; do not fall under outside influence which imposes other people’s aims; do not fight with anything and anybody including yourself; use what life offers; do not be afraid of anything, do not hanker for anything, do not worry and act; find a purpose which will be in harmony with your soul and mind and go towards it, casting away your doubts etc. and you will succeed.”
Although I am aware that the proper use of these principles in real life are hard work, there was not reason why I could not have exercised a few of them, like for instance, the first one ‘Live by the dictates of your soul’, why not?… I must certainly read this book again, not only to uplift myself by its true essence, but what it’s most important to encourage myself to put in practise what I believe, because it will come a point when I have to decide between living by the dictates of my soul and my heart or becoming ill…
So, finally, I am back at home and can begin to find my ‘self’…. Little by little my constrained mind has been releasing all the excess debris I accumulated… I am sleeping more and better and begin to feel ‘free’… I am so comfortable with myself… ‘Painting’, my best healer, has called me and I have certainly answered its call… 🙂
For those interested in the process, I just looked for some scrap paper I could find in my messy studio and glue them at random over a piece of hard wood.. Oh!… Home sweet home, it’s all I could thin off..
“Be believing, be happy, don’t get discouraged. Things will work out.”
― Gordon B. Hinckley
So, I thought I had to somehow represent those ‘homely’ feelings…
And this is the ‘unfinished’ result….. HOME SWEET HOME !
Yes, I soften the background colours for a more soothing a therapeutic ones… I hope you like the piece.
Thank you all for your patience and I hope the waiting was all worth it… xoxo